Monday, February 11, 2008

Oh, I Bet That Tastes Terrible!!

Have you noticed how many Republicans are now endorsing John McCain as a "true conservative"? Yes, I have too. And it made me wonder: What the F*** are they drinking?? Well folks, I've figured it out. Republicans across the country have been chugging this delightful new cocktail. But, you'd better hurry, this one will only be around until November 4, 2008!

McCain Kool-Aid Cocktail

aka: The REAL Jungle Juice

1 common language (usually English, Spanish when necessary)
1 “good” pinch of select “herbs” (can substitute cocaine, if desired)
2 prescription painkillers (Oxycontin preferred)
1 ½ oz Southern Comfort
Grape Kool-Aid Powder

1) In a large Hurricane glass, muddle the common language, herbs and pain medications until sufficiently jumbled.
2) Stir in Southern Comfort (and then a little extra for good measure).
3) Add Grape Kool-Aid powder (enough so that your friends and donors won’t be able to tell you “fell off the wagon” at close range).
4) Toss in a few ice cubes.
5) Layer fear, hatred, xenophobia, and aggression (or any combination thereof).
6) Garnish with $100 bill or newest insider-trading stock tip.

Drink quickly (and discreetly) and order another!

*Best when served by Karl Rove and Bill O’Reilly.

Variation 1:
Take two Oxycontin. Chug bottle of Southern Comfort. Make derogatory comment about passing minority. Watch Fox News until you pass out. Enjoy!

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